What it’s for

To give individuals and teams a shared, precise language for naming emotional states so they can slow reactions, surface unspoken signals, and choose appropriate action.
Emotional vocabulary is not about expressing more emotion, but about understanding what an emotion is asking for.

When to use it

• When tension, disengagement, or confusion is present but poorly articulated

• Before or after difficult conversations or decisions

• In retrospectives, check-ins, or repair conversations

• When a reaction feels “too big,” vague, or stuck

• As a foundation for trust, fairness, and repair practices

How to run it (steps)

Individual use

1. Pause and identify your current emotional family (e.g. Fear, Anger, Sadness, Joy).

2. Move through the gradient within that family (from broad to precise) until the word feels accurate.

3. Ask: What is this emotion protecting, signaling, or requesting?

4. Decide on the smallest appropriate next action.

Team use

1. Introduce the emotional families as neutral categories, not judgments.

2. Ask a simple framing question:
   “Which emotional family are we in right now?”

3. Allow naming without explanation or justification.

4. Use the signal to guide next steps (pause, clarify, repair, decide).

What “good” looks like (signals)

• Emotional language becomes more precise and less dramatic over time

• Reduced defensiveness during feedback or conflict

• Teams move from “something feels off” to “this feels like fear about risk”

• Faster recovery after tension or disagreement

• Emotions inform decisions without dominating them

Common failure modes

• Using emotional words to label people instead of states

• Treating the vocabulary as a diagnostic or personality test

• Forcing disclosure when psychological safety is not present

• Over-intellectualizing emotions instead of acting on their signal

• Using emotional language to avoid accountability or decisions